But I don’t think that’s all Jesus meant. I think there’s a higher calling here. Jesus loved the disciples  the way He loved God – with His whole being.  Jesus knew that loving God and loving others is the same thing. I think Jesus loved the disciples with His feelings as well as His actions, or His strength. I think He acted with love out of a heart of love. The disciples wearied Him just as we weary Him but He worked with them and loved them from the heart. He allowed His feelings to be His servants, to signal Him that something was wrong in relationship. Then He moved to bring the relationship right again. He reproved, set boundaries, forgave, showed compassion. He sought to understand them and accept them as they were, while calling them to be better. He expressed His needs to them when He was tired, thirsty or needed time alone. He told them what He valued and loved and that He desired their prayers. He felt the pain of their lack of love for Him and saw the self-indulgence and fear that kept them from Him. He went into the suffering of love, rather than push the suffering aside. He wasn’t only acting with love, He did whatever it took to continue loving from His heart as well.

 

 I think that was Jesus’ command to us  – love one another with your whole being, with your heart as well as with your strength, act with love and feel love, just as I have loved you! What a command! Impossible! I can’t do it. Exactly.

 

 Just as Jesus said, “Be perfect as your Heavenly Father is perfect,” Jesus calls us to the impossible because He wants us to lean on Him, to realize we can’t do it on our own. We need help. He wants us to make love the goal and ask for help along the way – to lean into Him for the strength to love. “For God is working in you, giving you the desire to obey him and the power to do what pleases him.” (NLT Phil 2:13)

 

 And He wants us to surrender – to be willing to do whatever it takes to love with all our heart as well as with all our strength. Some of us need to pray and listen for God’s next step. Sometimes we need to uncover deep wounds from previous relationships that impact a current relationship. We might need counseling or a small group to uncover that. Sometimes we need to have hard conversations with others in which we express our deep need. Sometimes we have to set a limit with others. forgive others, often we have to lay down pride…whatever it takes to bring the whole self into loving as Jesus loved us.

 

  We all know people who acted as though they loved their spouse right up until the time they walked out the door forever.  Often when people don’t feel love they operate out of “shoulds” and act as if they love without attending to their feelings.  They don’t allow their feelings to be their master but they don’t allow their feelings to be their servant either. They end up in unhealthy relationships in which they aren’t loving at all. They might appear loving but scratch the surface and they’re seething.

 

 When we stop feeling love for others,  it’s a sign that something is wrong. We were made for relationship. We have a God-given desire for attachment. The problem with telling people to act with love when they don’t feel it is simply that most people will stop right there. They’ll fail to explore what might be wrong in relationship. They’ll hear, “act with love as the first step” and make it they’re only step.

 

 We do what’s easy and it’s much easier to act with love than attend to the feelings of love - much easier to push feelings aside than go into the suffering with them. We tend to hide rather than be real. We tend not to listen to our feelings, the early warning system of the soul. And we tend not to ask God and others for help. But sometimes suffering is required. And suffering, big or small, when attended to rather than pushed aside, can be integrated into our lives to become a great display of His power and draw us more deeply into relationship.

 

 Jesus acted in love out of a heart of love. We can’t love that way from our own strength. It’s impossible. But we can make His command to love others as He loves us our goal. And we can depend on God and others to help us along the way. That’s the higher calling. Hallelujah. What a savior!

 

  The more I know Jesus, the more I know the power of “I can’t.”

 Tanya G.